Ask the Little Bald Bastard

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  If I stalk you, would you call the cops?
- Right Behind You

Dear Right Behind You,
  Only if you're incompetent. A SKILLED stalker should be able to follow me around, taking secret photos and retrieving discarded items to add to the shrine, without being detected. The stalkers that get caught are the ones who can't learn to follow at a safe distance, who foolishly crave "actual" (as opposed to "completely imaginary") interaction with the objects of their obsession.

  Alternatively, you can get three friends and some cameras and call yourselves "paparazzi." Then you can be as intrusive and disruptive as you want, photographing even my most private moments, and it will all be legal. The trade-off, of course, is that you'll be a gigantic scumbag; if you have even a shred of humanity left, you'll cry yourself to sleep at night after masturbating over the more candid shots. So think it over, and listen to your heart. Only you can decide what kind of scary, obsessive weirdness is most fulfilling for you.

  Note to self - purchase large handgun.