Ask the Little Bald Bastard

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  Where does the saying on the wagon come from?
- Middleton Construction
Dear Middleton,
  A little-known Sumerian text called Inkidinkidudipants, which loosely translates to "Up yours, Mesopotamia!" These ancient scrolls describe the creation of many things which later became indispensable to civilization, including both alcohol and wheeled carts. It also makes mention of a practice by Sumerian law enforcement officials, who would pull a large flat cart through the streets of the ancient Sumerian capital, rounding up citizens who had indulged in too much cheap, fermented cactus juice. As long as the offender was sober enough to climb in, he was allowed to clambor into the back of the cart and catch a ride home. If he was too blotto, the polizei would tie his wrists to the back of the cart and drag him to the edge of town to sober up under the blistering Sumerian sun.