For The Love Of Astronauts!
  For the love of astronauts, DO NOT wear flip-flops to work and then complain about injury or discomfort of your feet. That's what they make shoes for. You're basically wearing a dry sponge held on by a rubber thong. Of course it's going to be uncomfortable. By choosing to wear such impractical (and onomatopoeic) footwear in a professional environment, you've forfeited your right to complain about the state of your feet.

For The Love Of Astronauts...
  I've decided that, in situations where a believer would invoke an omnipresent deity, I'm going to start swearing to astronauts.* After all, astronauts are the only beings that I know for sure have been smiling down on us from above the clouds.

*For purposes of this exercise, "astronauts" will include Russian cosmonauts, Chinese taikonauts, and any whatever-nauts from future manned space programs. My admiration for those who've flown in space is not bound by anything so silly as nationality.

Tales From The Blue Line

  On my way home from work yesterday, I spotted a convergence of psychobabble chicanery that I'd previously seen only in unpleasant dreams. At one end of the car, a skinny, semi-professional looking blond woman reading The Secret. At the other end of the car, a rough, badly-used looking older gentleman cracking open a large envelope full of glossy Scientology paraphernalia. I swear I could see a fog bank of stupidity forming where their individual credulities converged.

  I'm sure I've beaten you about the head quite enough with my outrage over The Secret, but I don't think I've ever broached the subject of Hollywood's favorite cult "religion." (I don't have a tag for it yet, and until I find an alternate reality where my memory isn't so porous, I'll have to trust the silicon overlord.)

  I don't have the energy to get into it here. The alien warlords and ghosts are almost too ridiculous to comprehend. However, I will make this (not at all insightful) observation; any "religion" that charges you money to learn their teachings is a fucking cult, regardless of what any number of brain-addled celebrities would like you to believe.

  By the way, Scientology is also Hollywood's most notoriously litigious cult "religion," so I'll be sure to post a link to my legal defense fund as soon as I receive the cease and desist letter.