Ask the Little Bald Bastard

Dear Little Bald Bastard,

  Why does a cursive capital letter Q not look anything like a Q?

  Do you ever leave a penny? Have you ever taken a penny?

  Do you like french fries dipped in a milk shake? Is your milk shake better than mine?
- by_steph
Dear by_steph,
  Cursive handwriting is an ancient conspiracy, designed to make postcards from your grandmother completely unreadable. The capital Q has persisted in its singular oddness simply because people don't complain about it much. Grandmothers almost never start sentences with it.

  My years in retail have made me a fan, perhaps even a groupie, of exact change. If I have to fish a sad, discarded penny out of a filthy dish to avoid getting a pound of change back from my morning bagel, I'll dig right in. As a selfish, bitter man, I generally hoard the change I get, so I leave a penny far less often.

  I can honestly say that I've never considered dipping my fries in a milkshake. The combination of salty and sweet sounds intriguing, though. I can attest that my milkshake is one of the best in the known universe. Not only does it bring all the boys to the yard, but it makes otherwise stoic men weep with joy.