Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  If you had to ask me a question, what would it be?
- Wanna BB
Dear Wanna,
  What do you do when your own personality is so weak and depressing that you start wishing you were someone else, just so you could have some semblance of a life?
  For pity's sake, at least fixate on someone who likes to look at him or herself in the mirror. (But not all the time. That's just creepy.)

Hey, LBB,
  Why does everybody gotta be all up in my shit?
- Q-ree-us
Dear Q-ree-us,
  Hm, that's a tough one. Does it smell like sweet, delicious tapioca pudding? Perhaps it has magical healing powers? Fess up. Are you making a soothing balm out of your own feces? If so, I think the public deserves to know what the main ingredient of your miracle cream really is.