After another not-so-hot night's sleep, I once again gave in to the sweet siren song of soda. It was a fountain drink, so I loaded up on ice. I feel approximately 34% less guilty than I would have without ice.
This quick sketch sums up my day before that. Beware of impossibly exciting shenanigans.
I just discovered an interesting podcast called To The Best Of Our Knowledge. It's produced by Wisconsin Public Radio and distributed by Public Radio International. It's a little hard to distill, but I'll give it a shot. Otherwise, this will be a complete waste of a groggy, early morning post.
It's kind of an audio idea tapestry. They do two themed hours every week, and they interview a bunch of people with really different backgrounds on each topic. It turns out to be a thorough, nuanced and often surprising treatment of each week's central idea. Think This American Life, replacing the "fascinating lives of ordinary people" with "the engrossing implications of commonplace ideas."
I've listened to a few episodes so far, but I was really hooked by last week's second hour, "Revenge Of The Nerds." Five interviews illuminate some unexpected facets of a defiantly intellectual outcast culture. It was amusing and enlightening and weirdly empowering. I've always self-identified as pretty nerdy, and I suspect that I'm not the only one around here. =)
I've blathered enough. Go check out the podcast. And consider yourself lucky that I spared you my little tangent about how much I love podcasts of radio shows that don't air in my geographical area.
Trying to hack out my first soda-free day went surprisingly well until the middle of the afternoon. I drank about 36 ounces of water, and only missed the sweet taste a little.
Okay, it was a lot. An awful lot, actually. No matter how many times you drink it, water doesn't taste good. It just tastes like wet. I think I drank so much because I kept hoping that the next sip would be sweeter. It wasn't.
Around 3 pm, things went rapidly south. I started to have trouble focusing on the screen in front of me. Blinking turned into several seconds of closing my eyes, and my head took on a definite downward trajectory.
I tried getting up and walking around, but it didn't really help. There's a limit to how vigorously one can exercise in an office suite shared with 20 other people. So, I gave up and shuffled over to the soda machine for a 12 ounce can of cola.
Even though I failed, I'm calling it a partial victory. I just about halved my average daily consumption, and didn't actually fall asleep for more than a few seconds. These are the only marks in my win column, people. Let me enjoy my pathetic accomplishments.
My primary caffeine delivery system is soda. I only resort to coffee very occasionally, when I'm particularly exhausted and I have to resort to drastic measures.
Coffee is obviously more efficient, since it's richer in the hyperactive ingredient. Unfortunately, I'm unnaturally sensitive to hot liquids. Freshly brewed coffee has to sit for a long time before I can drink it. Iced coffee is fine, but it winds up being so diluted by water that it's mostly useless. Also, coffee breath is perhaps the foulest oral stank that one can achieve short of a gangrenous tongue.
The problem with soda is, of course, the metric buttload of empty calories in each serving. As I fall rapidly into my mid 30s, my metabolism has finally started to fail me. My midsection is turning into honky pudding, and there's a slab of flesh under my jaw that's threatening to envelop my chin.
For the sake of my health, my wife's visual environment, and my dwindling supply of pants that fit, it's time for me to cut out some of the gratuitous high fructose corn syrup. And don't talk to me about diet soda. If sugar cane could urinate, it would taste exactly like diet soda, and it probably wouldn't linger on the tongue for quite as long.
Difficulty: I'm still in law school. When I was only working full time, I'd almost completely cut out caffeine, but the pressure of law school reawakened my jitterbug in a big way. I'm working over the summer, but classes start again in late August. I can't predict what will happen once I'm back to that grind.
Because you're no doubt curious it's my blog and I'll write about whatever stupid, solipsistic topic I want, I'm going to start tracking my progress as I try to wean myself from the caffeine habit. I'm sure it will be riveting slightly less boring than trimming your own nose hair. Stay tuned.
