Ask the Little Bald Bastard

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  Who would win in an advice column fight to the death: Ask LBB or Ask A Ninja?
- fadingembers
Dear fadingembers,
  Ask A Ninja's expertise seems to be focused on ninjary in all its deadly splendor. I have the advantage in that I don't have any expertise. I'm free to shoot my uninformed mouth off about any topic I feel like, from animal husbandry to zoophilia, and everything in between.

  Of course in an actual fight to the death, the Ninja would slaughter me before I'd even finished the thought of challenging him. I bet my entrails would be prettier than his, though.