Ask the Little Bald Bastard

Dear LBB,
  My boyfriend has been reading "The Secret" -- with a highlighter and taking notes! Is he trying to tell me something?
Thanks,
- Jen

Dear Jen,
  Whether he's trying to or not, you boyfriend is telling you that he's a credulous, vacuous fucktard. Unless he's a book reviewer, or he's taking notes for an article debunking its obviously frivolous claims, your boyfriend is falling hard for the silly notion that the "Law of Attraction" will allow him to acquire things simply by thinking really hard about them.

  You should ask him exactly what he's trying to attract. If he's wishing hard for the money to buy you a wedding ring, then he's telling you he loves you. He's a credulous, vacuous, romantic fucktard. If he wants the Universe to drop a busty blonde in his lap, then his motives are far more suspect. He's a credulous, vacuous, unfaithful fucktard. Unless, of course, you're the busty blonde he's wishing for. In that case he's a credulous, vacuous, horny fucktard.

  In other news, I've discovered that it is impossible to overuse the word "fucktard."