Ask the Little Bald Bastard

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
Why does the sun shine?

Sincerely,

- Jon
Endicott, NY
Dear Jon,
  As They Might Be Giants once said, the sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace. While this is technically correct, it's also far from the complete story. The sun is also the largest local gravitational force. It's busily pulling on everything around it, trying like hell to drag a large enough object into our orbit that a collision with the Earth will wipe out the human race, allowing us to eventually be replaced by something that's not only intelligent, but nice. The shining is only a side effect.