Suburban Panic!

14 April 2003

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  What one thing did you do in college that you'd be most horrified to tell your parents about?
- Moving Off Campus
Dear Moving,
  With any luck, Mom and Dad Bastard will never know that I'm bald because of a bizzare incident involving a bottle of Elmer's glue, a bottle of tequila, and a triple-dog dare.

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