Ask the Little Bald Bastard

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  Who do you feel is the most attractive Disney character?
- F'ing Goofy
Dear F'ing,
  It's a little difficult to fathom being terribly attracted to characters from what are, generally, movies made for seven-year-olds. However, when put on the spot, I'd have to say Bruce Willis in The Kid. There's just something intriguing about an actor who can make every line of a light comedy sound like "I'm going to break my fucking agent's neck."