Ask the Little Bald Bastard

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  If Jimmy cracks corn and nobody cares, then why does he keep doing it?
-Just Wondering
Dear JW,
  The Jimmy referred to in the song is actually James Gunther Groatcluster, a Scotsman who emigrated to the United States in late 1841. He planned to make a living selling cakes of homemade cornmeal recipe, which he worked on day and night during the long trans-atlantic voyage. Unfortunately, the cakes were so unpalatable that Groatcluster earned a reputation on the ship, and the ship's crew made up the tune to express their disdain for the lethal concoctions. Later verses detail the crew's disinterest in the mixing of the cracked corn with milk and spices, and the cooking of dollops of the mix over a smokey fire.