Suburban Panic!

16 August 2007

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  How do you refinish wood floors?
- n00b homeowner

Dear n00b homeowner,
  Because I have fewer home repair skills that the three-day-old corpse of Bob Vila, I refinish wood floors by buying an area rug to hide the worn spots. If this isn't acceptable, try grabbing the phone book and flipping to "Contractors." If you find one that's reliable and reasonably priced, let me know. My floor is starting to look like a jigsaw puzzle made entirely of braided polyester.

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