Ask the Little Bald Bastard

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  What happens when you shake your moneymaker?
- Fellow Baldy

Dear FB,
  These days, my moneymaker is more of a liability than an asset. Shaking it merely results in stuff falling out of my pockets, and the derisive laughter of any passersby. Once my flabbier bits stop quaking, and I've collected the scattered contents of my pockets, I make a mental note to increase the number of drinks I've had before I attempt any future maker-shaking. So far, I'm up to an even dozen.