Ask the Little Bald Bastard

It's official...
  In this month's Journal of the American Mofo, I am listed among the top ten laziest mofos of all time. No, seriously, it's true!
  Okay, so there is no JAM, at least not yet. I'm trying to teach myself Flash, so there may be one at some point. If there were such a publication, I'd certainly be on their lazy list. I was off for two days, and I didn't leave the apartment for something like 36 hours. I only left to take a bag of trash over to a dumpster across the street. I stayed in my pajamas all day on Tuesday. I am a lazy, lazy mofo.
  In my defense, I did do some things while I was inside. I applied for some jobs, and I started trying to teach myself to use Flash. I also swept and emptied the trash. But I still feel like a special kind of slack ass for hanging around in my pajamas all day.
  Truth be told, it's not entirely my fault. My landlord decided to have the sidewalk in front of the apartment torn up and replaced. So, there was a one hundred square foot plot of wet cement outside my door for the majority of the day, which would have made leaving kind of a pain. (There's a funny story about how Amy had to have one of the workers carry her piggyback across the wet cement when she left for work, but I'm probably not supposed to tell you about that.) It probably would have been nice if my landlord had warned us that out sidewalk was being replaced, but that would have been considerate, and thus completely out of character. Some day, I will not live in the ghetto, with a crackhead for a landlord.