Dear Little Bald Bastard,
What's the best way to get rid of unwanted killer mold?
- Crossings Clueless
Dear Clueless,
As opposed to all that welcome killer mold? First, go bang your face solidly against the refrigerator. This won't help with the mold: it's your punishment for phrasing your question so stupidly. Have someone take a picture of your broken, bloody visage, and email it to me. Once I'm satisfied that you've suffered enough, I'll help you get rid of the fanatical spores that even now are corroding your immune system.
Suburban Panic!
29 October 2002
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