Law-ku: Interrogation After Invocation

Please scrupulously
honor the invocation
of Miranda rights.

Right to be silent
is invoked for each offense.
Ask about past crimes.

Right to have counsel
is custody specific.
No further questions.

EDIT: Okay, so this isn't entirely correct. Under some circumstances, police can resume questioning about a crime even after the suspect invokes her right to remain silent, so the right isn't purely crime-specific. The preceding stupid poem makes no representation of accuracy.

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  Why do they have writing credits on porn movies? Does somebody write all the "ooh baby oh baby?"
- Hey Everybody Likes Porn

Dear HELP,
  Nobody's sitting in front of a keyboard typing out every grunt and groan. Those are pretty much spontaneous. There might be a hit list of positions that the performers are supposed to contort themselves into, but that type of pre-shoot planning probably happens between the actors and the director.

  However, you can bet that the dialog in any non-sex interlude has been pre-scripted, at least in a general way. The performers don't decide on the spot that the guy should dress up as a plumber, and the four girls with the gigantic dildo should pretend to be a cash-strapped sorority with a clogged sink.

  As a general rule of thumb, the bigger the budget and the more involved the "story" surrounding the hot XXX action, the more likely it is that somebody wrote down the lines ahead of time. If it's an amateur production, the pale flabby guy getting head from the wan-looking blond is probably the director, producer and cameraman as well as the male star. Chances are he's spent too much time at the mall chatting up desperate women, offering to pay for lunch in exchange for on-camera sex, to be able to come up with a compelling scenario. Everything beyond the semi-competent blowjob is probably improvised.

Dear Little Bald Bastard,

  Why does a cursive capital letter Q not look anything like a Q?

  Do you ever leave a penny? Have you ever taken a penny?

  Do you like french fries dipped in a milk shake? Is your milk shake better than mine?
- by_steph
Dear by_steph,
  Cursive handwriting is an ancient conspiracy, designed to make postcards from your grandmother completely unreadable. The capital Q has persisted in its singular oddness simply because people don't complain about it much. Grandmothers almost never start sentences with it.

  My years in retail have made me a fan, perhaps even a groupie, of exact change. If I have to fish a sad, discarded penny out of a filthy dish to avoid getting a pound of change back from my morning bagel, I'll dig right in. As a selfish, bitter man, I generally hoard the change I get, so I leave a penny far less often.

  I can honestly say that I've never considered dipping my fries in a milkshake. The combination of salty and sweet sounds intriguing, though. I can attest that my milkshake is one of the best in the known universe. Not only does it bring all the boys to the yard, but it makes otherwise stoic men weep with joy.