Big Announcement (The First)

  After almost six years on Blogger, Ask The Little Bald Bastard is pulling up stakes and hitting the trail. I've packed up the whole mess, and hired hundreds of industrious computer gnomes to cart it all off to my brand new old website, Suburban Panic!

  My interest in the Internet has shifted a bit. I'm hoping to make my online writing something that could eventually find its way onto a résumé without instantly causing an embolism in a hapless Human Resources manager. Consensus seems to be that having "Bastard" in the URL won't exactly trigger an instant hiring frenzy.

  The content won't be changing too drastically. I'll still answer questions when I get them, but the primary focus will be on short essays and cartoons. I'm making plans to bring some other contributors on board as well. The skeptical, anti-dogmatic rants will continue unabated.

  What does this mean for you? Probably very little. Starting tomorrow, the Feedburner feed will start carrying the content from the new space. Livejournal readers, I'll be posting links to the feed for your use. The front page of Ask LBB will have links to the new page, as well as a saucy little feed widget posting links to the most recent updates.

  Big thanks to everyone who's read and linked to Ask LBB over the years, and special "why can't you be more like them?" thanks to everyone who submitted a question. I hope you'll all join me at Suburban Panic! for another big announcement, 'round about the end of the week.

Question #119: The World Is Odd Enough

Dear Little Bald Bastard,
  Over the course of your internet ramblings, what is the most bizarre web site you have ever seen?
- Ryoga M

Dear Ryoga M,
  When we're children, we're told constantly that each of us is a unique snowflake, utterly distinct from every other person on the planet. This is, of course, eight kinds of bullshit, just as mythical as the Tooth Fairy and your chances of becoming President.

  Like the spiteful kid on the playground who tells everyone else the truth about Santa, the Internet has exposed the absurdity of this bit of populist propaganda. Pick your favorite obscure band, your most embarrassing sexual proclivity, or your most outrageous conspiracy theory. Plug some related keywords into your favorite search engine, and you'll discover hundreds, if not thousands, of kindred souls waiting to welcome you with open arms and, more often than not, a little bit of drooling.

  If you look, you'll find flat-earth conspiracy buffs, sad sacks who can't get off unless they're dressed up like furry creatures, and people who think that Sting has been worth listening to since leaving The Police. Weirdos and cranks, obviously.

  I'll spare you a laundry list of the strange, mostly sexual, oddities that are festering in the dim, damp corners of the web. If you want to immerse yourself in a thick stew of cephalophiles, sewage-huffers and body-modders, Warren Ellis and Ectoplasmosis are good places to start.

  The most appalling, unfathomable thing I've ever stumbled over online isn't furries or scatplay or brimstone-breathing fundamentalists. There are communities of "bug chasers," gay men who are sexually aroused by contracting sexually transmitted diseases in general, and HIV/AIDS in particular. They swap stories of how they were infected, set up parties where disease-free men can have unprotected sex with infected partners, and brag about "breeding" their diseases in unsuspecting hookups.

  The whole thing blows my mind so thoroughly that I can't even wrap up with something pithy. Actively wanting to get a fatal disease is strange to the point of madness. Deliberately infecting others is beyond obscene.

  The silver lining to this corrosive, brain-soiling cloud is that the web also provides solidarity and community for rational people, who might feel like they're all alone in decrying the superstitious nonsense that permeates society. There are opportunities to have meaningful discussions with skeptics and freethinkers from all over the world. If the creationists and true believers can do it, we can do it better. Thanks for the question.

New Posts Shortly

  I've got a couple of things cooking, I promise. Hectic events have put me a little behind with the updates, but there should be two new ones this week. In the meantime, feel free to send a question my way by clicking here.