Ask the Little Bald Bastard

Benefits of Damnation:

  When I have died and gone to hell, and the slavering demons have begun ramming their humongous, barbed members into my every bleeding orifice, and squirting their corrosive fluids into my torn-out eye sockets for all eternity, I will still be sincerely grateful that I never again have to debate the merits of evolution with a supporter of Intelligent Design.

  Of course, if there were a hell, it would probably involve dull-witted mouth-breathers yammering on about transition fossils and irreducible complexity as they strangle me with my own steaming intestines.